Why Russians are considered complex in sex and what to do about it
According to statistics, Russia is never included in the list of the most sexually liberated countries — we are trailing in the tail. And this is despite the fact that the number of sex shops in any city is only growing, couples are increasingly using the services of sexologists, and young parents are asking questions about how to talk to a child about sex.
Russians are not considered the most attractive in the world
This or that resource annually makes lists of the most sexually liberated countries. Russia is not in the lead in any of them. In 2017, the Swedes were the leaders (sex education classes begin at preschool age, TV programs are 18+). And last year, Ukrainians were recognized as the sexiest nation. In second and third place, Danes and Filipinos were considered the most attractive by respondents. We are only in 33rd place.
Abroad, many people consider Russians to be complex. On the one hand, I would like to argue: are not our girls always in heels and with careful makeup? On the other hand, think of almost any wedding you’ve ever attended. During the invariable vulgar contests, the guests blush and turn pale, or go off in a way that makes everyone else feel ashamed. In any night club, only a few people will dance with pleasure and uninhibited-the rest are clearly in a pinch.
Russian beauties always want to look good — many people ironically say that only our girls can be found in the queue for an early flight in heels and makeup. At the same time, foreigners often notice that Russian women in mini every time adjust their skirt or cleavage, as they constantly need to make sure that everything is in order with their image.
What does the Soviet heritage have to do with it?
Psychologists associate the tightness of their compatriots, including with the Soviet heritage, when there was little information about sex, it was considered indecent to talk about such topics in the family, and all questions about where children come from were answered: a stork brought or found in a cabbage. Blushing parents giggled in embarrassment, prompting more questions from curious children. And even now, years later, can you, for example, watch a movie with your parents with rather explicit bed scenes? So that no one is embarrassed? We are sure that not everyone will answer this question in the affirmative. Although information about sex has become many times more, and sex itself has become much more accessible. And this has its pros and cons.
From one extreme to another
So, sexologists note that now they are treated much more often than fifteen years ago. They often come in pairs. And men often complain about satiety (to the question of the availability of sex and porn), and women want quality sex. According to the sexologist and psychiatrist Eugene Kulgavchuk, we are not so clamped in sex. And porn in some people’s lives is so much that it only harms.
“A lot of patients come with porn addiction, who understand that pornography destroys their lives, that they no longer have sexual desire, that is, they are emotionally eviscerated. but they keep looking and can’t get rid of this addiction,” the expert notes.
Psychologists agree that complexes appear because of a desire to meet someone’s expectations. And we have a lot of complexes. During the reigning cult of youth, women over fifty complain about the lack of sexual relations and a sense of unattractiveness (excess weight, wrinkles, lack of money for a cosmetologist). The last point is really important, because men call a woman’s unkempt appearance the first reason why they lose interest in her. At the same time, the popular psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky does not tire of repeating that age, appearance and character do not affect sexual attractiveness in the eyes of the opposite sex.
Like, only self-confidence matters. If a woman likes herself, she attracts others. And vice versa. Also, the psychologist likes to cite as an example famous couples in which a woman does not meet the generally accepted standards of beauty: Yoko Ono and John Lennon, woody Allen and soon-Yi Preven, Clive Owen and Sarah Fayton, and others.
And all questions about someone’s sexual exploits jokers seriously advise to answer, as in a joke:
“An 80-year-old patient comes to the doctor’s office and complains about the lack of an erection. The sexologist replies that at his age this is normal. He makes an argument:
But my neighbor-the same age says that he has sex two or three times a night, and I do not succeed!
And you’re talking about! – calmly advises the doctor.”