Not pleasure, but health: why giving up sex is bad for health and undermines self-esteem
It is believed that men naturally have a greater need for sex. They say that sex has almost no effect on women’s health… Our expert agreed with this in principle, along the way listing the problems that representatives of both sexes may face in the absence of a long-term relationship.
Abstinence increases the fear of failure
“Men have more testosterone, and therefore the need for sex, too. This is if we say in General terms: it is clear that there are men with a weak sexual Constitution (it is determined by heredity), and there are women with an increased amount of testosterone. But in General, this is the situation. And let’s not forget about the prostate, which the ejaculate seems to burst physically. Let me explain: there is a so-called Tarkhanov-Belov phenomenon. Abstinence accumulated sperm, demanding release, enhances the libido (the phenomenon Tarhanova). The body can be freed from ejaculate by nighttime emissions. But older men may not have them.
The phenomenon of Tarkhanov in men is balanced by the phenomenon of Belov — with sexual abstinence, the tone of the testes is suppressed and sexual fantasies, spontaneous erections become less frequent. And after a long period of abstinence, a man can not immediately restore the usual rhythm of sexual life. With age, it becomes more difficult to return to a normal rhythm. That is why long-term abstinence (abstinence) in men over 50 years of age is highly undesirable.
There is another problem, which is often treated by patients. This is a syndrome of anxious expectation of failure, when a man can not relax at the right time and is afraid to fail in sex. The syndrome is amplified if in the past there were sarcastic remarks of the partner, “misfires”. Some may complain that they have an insufficient penis size, and complex about this, although the penis may be all right.
the doctor-sexologist, psychotherapist, psychiatrist
Lack of sex affects self-esteem
Women with a weak sexual Constitution are easier to tolerate sexual abstinence. But there are those who have cravings in the format of “I want a man” expressed clearly, especially when combined with alcohol.
At the same time, sex is still not the most important need of a person, so you can remember the old saying “I want to, but I will overdo it”. For example, the lack of sex in a man’s life initially causes aggression and nervousness – in fact, nature is so conditioned that to win a female, you need energy and healthy aggression. But then the body can adapt to do without sex, especially with a weak sexual Constitution. Testosterone will become less, the body will go into so-called conservation.
What is the danger of such conditions for both sexes? The fact that over time, the desire may in principle disappear, a person gets used to do without a partner, without sex. It is easier for women – they can make love using lubricants for arousal. But if a man does not have an erection, then the classic vaginal sexual act with penis penetration is not feasible.
In women, long-term lack of sex can negatively affect self-esteem. She may start to think that she is not wanted, that she is not in demand. That is, men have their own fears, women have their own.
By the way, very often, when the period of abstinence has passed, and a man begins a rich sexual life, then often a career goes up the mountain, they are ready to turn the mountain. And in women, it is the psychological background that improves more, the mood increases, the eye begins to burn — sexual satisfaction in men and women leads to different results.
How to relieve sexual tension?
With the help of Masturbation. But adaptive, as I call it. That is, it is Masturbation, similar to a sexual act, a kind of rehearsal for success. But, as I have already told you, there are disadvantages. That is, on the one hand, the process contributes to orgasmic discharge, mood improvement, prevention of gynecological diseases, and on the other, a woman, for example, trains her body to respond to specific stimuli (shower jet, vibration), and then it is difficult for her to get an orgasm during classical sexual intercourse. This is maladaptive Masturbation.
Constant viewing of porn in the future can also do more harm than help. In addition to complexes, there may be a dependence on external attributes, a situation like in a movie,or satiety, and nothing excites. Not on the screen, not in real life. Why do I always say that, for example , books are better than cartoons? Because the first ones make the imagination work, anticipate, imagine! Don’t get carried away with porn, look for other ways to get a discharge. Turn on your imagination, train your brain.
By the way, I do not share the opinion that sport helps to get rid of sexual tension. Rather the opposite. When the body is toned and you are full of energy, on the contrary, a surge of desire is likely. And if we talk about professional sports, serious debilitating loads, then immediately after them, there may be problems with an erection.”
Our expert is sure that there are different periods in life, including when there is no partner, but you definitely need to look for one. After all, it’s not just about sex, but the need for any of us to communicate, love. Emotional attachment improves the quality of life. And health, too.